Online Poker Etiquette

I wrote once before about the phenomenon of the angry online poker player. It is quite common, and many people go there once in a while, even yours truly. I even had my chat privileges temporarily suspended after I wrote that column because I got frustrated by a horrible player talking trash at me after he got lucky in a huge suck out.

What can I say' Do as I say, not as I do' There may be some truth in that, but that doesn't mean I don't recognize instances of poor poker etiquette when I see them. I prefer to think I am basically a good guy who can't be good 100% of the time. I think its enough to care and pay attention to if you're doing the right thing and to try and do the right thing. But, enough about me. Let's talk a bit about some of this poor etiquette I see frequently.

There is a place, in my opinion, for trash talk at the poker table. It can be one of many tools. If you have a good read on someone and reraise them with nothing, then show, by all means talk trash if you like. You could put them on tilt or intimidate them into passivity. There is a difference, though, between that and being a jackass. You move quickly into jackass when you talk trash after bad beating someone.

If someone plays badly and wins a pot from you anyway because they get lucky, I understand a little anger and frustration. I get it, and I don't really say this is a major infraction , because it is somewhat understandable, but we would all do well to stifle the urge to spew.

On the other hand, when someone LOSES a pot, whether they played badly or not, why taunt them' I often see people play poorly and lose a pot, and sometimes that brings out comments like 'Nice hand, moron,' 'Haha, you're an idiot,' or simply 'lol.'

Now suppose you're in the grocery store and someone walking by bumps into a display and some cans fall to the floor. Would you go up to the person, laugh at them loudly, and tell them what a klutz they are' No one would. Well, almost no one I guess, except a true first-class jackass. And yet, this is exactly what some people do online when they tell a person what a loser they are. I understand why people do this online, because we all have been the victim of these bad players, and it drives you nuts. Whoever they are, one could assume they already feel bad that they played like a fool and threw their money away, do they not' They might even be among a great number of online players who are losing a lot more money than they can afford to lose. I'd also ask you this ' do you play well all the time' I am pretty successful at this online poker stuff, and I certainly don't play well all the time. When I play badly, I recognize it, usually right away, but occasionally later upon reflection. If you're the guy doing the taunting, it's no different than kicking a man when he's down. That just makes you mean, pathetic and weak. It's akin to the angry person who is mean to animals, women or children because they are 'easy' targets. If you're too frustrated to bite your lip, how about just asking something like 'What did you think I had'' That makes the point, I think, without being cruel about it. And why not be happy you won the pot and hope they continue to play badly, rather than chase them off or alert them to their inferior play'

It's even worse when the guy who is down hasn't done anything to YOU in the first place, like if you weren't even in the hand. I see it, from a special class of obnoxious jackass who seems to hate everyone who isn't just like him. Not everything is about you, stay out of it, and keep your neuroses to yourself. If you are one of these guys, you can be sure that many people at your table are thinking how pathetic YOU are for being so petty and mean, and wondering what is wrong with you that makes you act the way you do.

Going further, I definitely don't get why someone would taunt a person who played well and lost, which I also see. Sometimes it's the person who played poorly and won anyway, and sometimes it's just that annoying person who wasn't even involved in the hand.

Confucius said, 'Pride goeth before destruction.' When you get outplayed and luck your way into winning the pot, the last thing you should be is arrogant or boastful. You should be humble and happy you won the pot you didn't deserve. You could feel apologetic, though I'd say that mostly is unnecessary, as these beats are a part of the game. I do occasionally apologize and say why I made the play, but I wouldn't say doing that is a right or wrong thing to do. It's up to you if you wish to handle it that way. Maybe the best response is no response at all - just keep your trap shut. I certainly hope Confucius was right, and that these obnoxious people end up going down in flames themselves, whether that is because of some bad karma they created for themselves (as Confucius might say) or because their inferior play catches up to them. Whatever the reason, there is some consolation in noting that some of the worst offenders I've seen in recent tournaments ended up busting before they reached the money.

As to a person who isn't even involved in a hand, but nonetheless offers taunting or negative commentary to a person who plays well and loses anyway, I have a question for you. Do you not remember what it feels like to play perfectly and get horribly unlucky' And would you like it if someone did that to you' The internet offers anonymity to where you can insult someone just because they are a loser, when you wouldn't do it elsewhere, like in my grocery store example. But is that really the kind of person you wish to be' Leave your own issues and neuroses where they belong, don't foist them on others. It isn't their fault if you hate your own miserable life and you can't keep your own negativity inside.

Don't be a jackass like this. That goes without saying, and few of us are that screwed up. But also don't be the guy next to him who laughs and encourages him to continue either, and it might not even be a bad idea to try and get him to move on somehow or change the subject. We all have a responsibility to do the best we can to clean up our little corner of the world, don't we?

Jeff Henry

note by gank: Jeff Henry is an extremely talented online poker pro specializing in cash games and online tournaments.